Lexieliciousness!!!

Hey!!

School has started and after so long, now only I’ve managed to go on the net. Well today I just got pictures from Lisa. It’s the pictures we took at Candy’s Sweet Sixteen Birthday Party, which was last Saturday!

Okay, at first when I saw the house, it looked like an engagement party! Ha-Ha! After knowing Candy for so long, this is the grandest party she ever threw! There were tents set up, and she was wearing a green cocktail dress. Really HOT!! Ha-Ha! But for the dress you were wearing, Candy.(just joking).

I was actually kind of early, but wasn’t the earliest. Ha-Ha! But close enough though. Anyway, after that more and more people start arriving. And then Sherry came!! After so long I finally managed to meet her in real life! We always talk on msn and all but never real life, so it was really nice. Ha-Ha! Then next Lisa came and the three of us kept talking for almost like non-stop. And we took some pictures! J

Then more people start turning up like Pei Lyn, Kar Mun and the whole gang and all. Then we went and had the dinner, the food was really good. And then, Ed Vinn and Xin Yin turned up!!! Its Been like so long since I saw them! They looked really different! Especially Xin Yin, well, its been like almost three years! I saw Ed Vinn at Candy’s last birthday, but it was really good to see him again!! It was good to see them both again!!!

By 10.45, we started games. There were two games, first was, we had to pass as many seaweeds as possible by only using the mouth to the last person. There were 10 people in one team!! I was the last because it’s from short to tall. By the time it reached me, it would be all soggy!! EWWW!!! But I took from the middle, only the two tips were wet of saliva. I’m pretty sure it’s from one of the short jokers up front, Yu Han, WyMan, Haziq or Darren Goh. They were in the same team as me. Not a good thing. The second game, we were given all kinds of food, 4 bananas, a bag of peanuts, 2 chocolate biscuit waffles, four sweets (its not the sweet kind of sweet, it’s the pedas kind of sweet), some tomato juice, 1 Oreo waffle, 1 orange… I think that was all, don’t really remember. Anyway, the thing was to finish it before any other team. The first team wins. Thank God I didn’t have to eat the sweet all drink the tomato juice, it was really bad.

At 12, I went back some were still there gambling and drinking. Sadly didn’t get to dance at all. Haihz… But I still had a great time. J

I always had a hard time closing my mind.

I always had to think of something.

Especially guys I have strong feelings for.

I use to think in my head that just try to occupy myself so much so that I won’t have time to think of him and eventually forget him. When that happens, it happens.

Back in Form 2, I always had my mind on one guy. He was well known among the girls, which was one of the reasons I can’t be with him. He knows that, it made him take advantage of girls and hardly have any respect for them. I know he’s one of the biggest jerks around, however, I think of him all the time it gives me problems sleeping, paying attention and most of all I can’t rest my mind. I thought I was so in love because this kept going for over a year. I just thought of him every minute. I was dreaming of him so much that I thought I’ll be trap in my own mind forever.

Sometimes when I dream of him, I get frustrated cause thinking that I’m not strong enough to forget him.

But honestly, a small part of me didn’t want to give up this fantasy. I loved being in this dreamland of my own.

During that one year, we didn’t contact much, sometimes missing him made my feelings grow. But sometimes it just faded.

In my head, I was almost giving up hope. Not the hope of giving him up, but the hope of ever forgetting him. I kept thinking that I would be in love with him forever, I wouldn’t be able to escape that, and that I didn’t realize that it was only my mind saying that I love him. In my heart, he’s just a guy that I WAS attracted to and gave up a long time ago without realizing.

Just when I thought I’ve learnt my lesson.

I grow feelings for another guy, a guy so different from the last. I feel my feelings are even stronger. This time, I didn’t want to let him go. I didn’t want to give in so easily. I want him so badly that I think I would do anything to have him.

I have never feet like this for a guy before.

Is this love?

I always want his attention, although he hardly gives a damn about me.

I keep trying till I was obsessed. I had even more trouble closing my mind. It is so difficult. After some time, my obsession almost becomes possession. It’s like being possessed by someone totally different from me.

But after seeing him today and thinking back of the last guy whom I thought I loved. It’s almost the same thing, it’s just an illusion of my mind not my heart.

I’m just thankful that I’m able to realize this before I do something really stupid like start stalking (maybe that’s a great idea! Someday when I ever do fall in love, Ha-Ha! As if that would happen).

It’s funny though; those two different things could mean one same thing.

Sometimes I think I’m so mature for my age and some people do say that about me, but thinking back of all this, I feel so childish and stupid of not being able to master some self control. It’s like being an eleven year old girl.

But at the same time, it’s a good experience and I’m glad I can figure this out.

And lucky me I don’t have to spend time on a therapist or maybe worse, a brain surgeon.

So, What Is Love?

Ha-Ha! I guess I’ll never find out unless I keep trying… *wink*

I Wonder.

Before I close my eyes for the night,

I wonder,

Are you thinking of me the way I do for you?

Even when I just wake,

As the bright morning sun kisses my face and warms my soul.

I wonder,

Are you thinking of me the way I do for you?

All the anxiety is driving me insane,

I keep thinking of you!

Picturing us together, dreaming that,

Your arms would hold me tight around my waist,

Looking deep into my eyes as though I am the only one for you.

It really makes me wonder,

When will I ever stop thinking of you?

I wonder,

Will you love me the way I love you?

I wonder,

What would you think and say if I tell you?

Tell you that, that…

I Love You…

- Lex

(but posted up by Pei Lyn ^^)

Hey there people!!

It’s been like so long since I written anything in here, so I’m going to post an entry here.

Anyway, yesterday I had a really tiring day. It was seriously omigosh-ly tired.

All day I was out and kind of busy, most of the time anyway. Lets start with I woke up at 7.30 even though there isn’t any school! Okay, I don’t think I want to bore you to death with every single detail so anyhow, I went to my sister school’s rehearsal. The hall was really nice! The stage was even better! It was huge! With curtains just like in the theater! The doors looked expensive but other than that just looked averaged. So here’s where the busy started.

I had to help my mum carry the gu-zheng to the building. It was at the top floor!!! Pity my mum carrying the heavy thing, I just carried the legs and stool, but it was still heavy!

Then my sister wanted me to do make up for her and her friends. It was fun la but still! It was so early in the morning I was just half awake. I think all looked worse than me cause I was already looking like ghost. Lolx! Then I took tons of pictures! But my legs were tired like anything, was standing in the hall the whole time! No place to sit. From 7.30 a.m. till 1.00!!

The performances were so cute! But there were two ‘High School Musical’ dance performances with the same freaking song! Don’t get me wrong, I love the show, but now it’s a bit too much, everywhere is like ‘High School Musical, HSM, High School Musical’. Don’t they get too much?? Okay anyway, their performances weren’t that bad, a bit messy and the same old stuff but other than that fairly okay I guess…

At 1 my mum brought us out to eat with her friend and I saw Genna! My sister’s friend younger sister, she’s 6! So cute! But active and tomboyish, had to chase her all over the place. As though I’m not tired enough. Owh well, at least I had funJ.

Then at 3 I went out to Carrefour to buy extra stuff, was so afraid there won’t be enough of food for tonight class party. Scary thought… Anyway, over there I saw Daryl, Wei Nian, Mabel and some of their friends. Never thought of meeting them there at all! Lolx! But that isn’t the problem, it was nice to see them outside from school moreover, Carrefour! Anyway, I wanted to talk bout the food I saw there, prawns and crab! I have no idea how to choose any of the food, my mum just helped get prawns. I had to get crab! CRAB!!! It was so smelly! And how was I to know how to choose crab to bbq? Anyway, I just grab 12 and was worrying that there won’t be enough! But didn’t bother getting more. Was just lazy to. Lolx!

By the time I’m done, I went to Pei Lyn’s house. Min Shen and Sue Mae were already there, they helped unload the stuff. When my mum left and we went to the kitchen, I had to wash all the food that I just bought. And everyone was starting to call to ask bout the party. I had to wash prawns, sausages, fish balls, squid rings, chicken scallops and the freaking smelly crabs!

Thank god! I managed to wash everything in time! Some of them already arrived to help, but it then started to drizzle!! I nearly called of the party when I called Shahnon and asked if we could do the class party at his house instead. Bless him and his family for saying yes!! I so love you Shahnon!! We did the bbq there and had tons of fun. We took so long to light up the coals that we started to cook only at 9. We were supposed to start at 7!

Lolx! I was running all over the place in heels the whole day! HEELS!!! My legs are still aching like anything! But I had a great time that day; I actually had fun running all over the place and stressing a bit here and there. Lolx! I’m going to miss all of you guys! Next year we’re going to be separated and all. Haihz… Thanks for coming and helping out and all, Pei Lyn and her family for storing the food, her mum for marinating the chicken and for transporting all the stuff to Shahnon’s house, Liza, Kar Mun, Aaron and Ben for buying the stuff and lastly again to Shahnon and his family for his house. You were all such a big help! Not even my dad ruined my day, Lolx!

My dad fetched me from Shahnon’s house and once I stepped into the car all the way home he was scolding me like anything. I think this it was worse than on Tuesday when I went out the whole day and came back home at 10.30 at night because of Interact meeting. But I don’t regret going out. I had fun! J

Here are some pictues! ENJOY!:)

Us at the party..

Aiman and I..:) Really Nice Guy..

Aiman and Pei Lyn.

Me & Hanif.. Looking at some pics when Aiman took this picture..Lolx!

Kar Mun, Pei Lyn & I. Lolx! They weren’t really ready for this picture. Haha!

Jonathan, Shahnon, Hua Kit and Donavan.

Me, Pei Lyn& Kar Mun!!! BESTIES FER LIFE!! Never Gonna Forget You Guys!!:)

Hanif & I. Always There For You! Our Beloved Class Monitor For Three Years!

Pei Lyn, Aiman & I.

ALL OF US!!! GONNA MISS ALL YOU GUYS!!!

~muaxxxxxxxxxxx~

p.s. Pls send me more pictures if you have, wanna put them up.

Me, Candy and Pei Lyn went out shopping on wednesday with my family at One Utama. Here are some pictures. I would like to thank them from apporving all the pictures that I have put out. HeHe..

Pei Lyn coverring her face. Sob..sob.. dun wanna pose 4 camera :(.. Candy laughing bhind her.

My sis..smilling away.. (See how fat she is..=pPp~~~)

Pei Lyn possing under the hot sun.

Candy & Pei Lyn. Two HOT chicks!!

Me and Candy. Candy smilling away. So pretty. No wonder got so many peminat. =pPpPp~~~

Me & Pei Lyn.

Candy & Pei Lyn making wish! Got masuk the pond or not?

Candy’s tak masuk. So sad.

Candy, Pei Lyn & Me! This Pei Lyn possing. =pPpPp~~~

Now she’s relaxed.

The Sun is so hot!! Candy & Pei Lyn kenot tahan. My sis n bro is wlking wif them. My bro is so annoying!!  Donno how 2 pose a bit oso. ISH!

My sis.

My sis n Bro, fighting again. Kenot stop wan. haihzzz..

Candy, Pei Lyn & Me.

These two shopping, dint relise i taking pic.

Sitting at a cafe. Too tired ‘d. Wlking around the whole mall.

Pei Lyn drinkking. Her drink was the best!! So Refreshhing!!

Us sitting on the bench.

End of our trip. Hope you like the pictures I’ve taken.

~muaxxxxxxxxxx~

Prefects Reunion 2005!!

Too many cameras!! Donno which wan 2 look at..=pPpPpP~~~ (From left down: me, Candy, LiZa, Kar Mun, Farah, Johnathan, Yee Mae) (From left, up: Andrea, Yvonne, Dic Vinn And Sung Lin)

‘The Gang’ Sung Lin is missing though.. (From left, up: Yvonne, Farah, Candy, Me, LiZa, Kar Mun, Johnathan, Wei Shen) (From left, down: Dic Vinn and Ying Hao)

A night to remember.. (From left, up: Johnathan, Ying Hao, Jun Siang, Shaun) (From left, middle: Kar Mun, Farah, Candy, Me, LiZa, Mae Ryn, Yvonne) (Bottom: Dic Vinn)

Candy, Aina, Yi Xin, LiZa and Kar Mun.

Kar Mun and Me. This Gurl is HOT!! ON her b’day they all have to pour water to put her out. But still the same.=pPpPp~~~

Candy (the HOT chick!!), Vee Hong (my pet-bro!! he verii fun wan..life full of drama) n me (donno wat 2 say bout me)..

Keep Visitting!! Trying to get more pictures!! Send pictures to me please, so that i can put them up here!!

Today was one of the most ‘INTRESTING’ days of my life! All thanks to my annoying pest pet brothers! They usually hide my stuff or pull my hair band or even both! But today, was the time where they really got on my nerve! Chin Yu Han, Aaron Chong Jie Fei, Jimmy Ong Chin Hong, Mohd. Hanif and Chong Kah Weng. These are all my ‘small, little (although they are all taller than me except Yu Han and Aaron =pPpP~~~)’ younger pet brothers. It all started when our teacher shift some of our places. Yu Han had to sit next to Ismail, which isn’t a bad thing cause I really could do with some peace and quite. But even when he is sitting away from me, he can still annoy me! He stole my pencil case, but returning it later. Then I found out that I left my friend’s book at school yesterday! I was really worried because I had to return it. But Hanif went suspicious; he asked me if I lost anything, which made me think twice. I was glad to find out that the book wasn’t missing cause if it was I would have to buy a new book for my friend, which costs RM40! But sad thing is that they wouldn’t return the book to me! They even stole more books! One by one, I had to get my things back! I have my notebook with the Geography notes that I have to write into my original note book but Aaron stole it and he poured water on me instead! And there is Jimmy, while I was bugging Hanif to return my things to me, Jimmy put glue on my chair and I actually sat on it!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR…. They tickled me, which is damn annoying and in the end I still shot of one book! ISHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

But although they are pest and annoying, I’m glad that they did this to me in a weird kind of way (but I would really appreciate if they return my book!). It makes feel that I’m still noticed by some friends and I’m not a wall. It really made me feel glad because I’ve been noticing that some of my friends are drifting away, one by one. It really hurts to know that you were close to that certain someone, but in the end he treats you as someone else. He has to force himself to say ‘Hi!’ to me, which is totally noticeable. If it is that hard, just let me be! I don’t want you look as though you haven’t seen me before and have to put pity on me just because I said ‘Hi!’ to you! I’m a type that once you ever bother being close to me, just let it stay that way. Don’t act like you don’t know me in the end after so many memories! I just hope that you will learn someday that you have left all your friends for some people who hardly ever care for you.

Please return the book! And thanks for being my petbros.

Muaxxxxxxxxxxx

JIMMY! I’M STILL GOING TO KILL YOU!

Lucy had this friend, Crystal. They were good friends when they was about to start their secondary life. They sat together in class. They talk with each other all the time. They had break together. They were best friends.

Lucy thought that nothing, NOTHING at all could come between them. They were unseparatable for that was only Lucy thought of. She trusted Crystal. She believed that nothing would go wrong in their never dying friendship. Nobody could seperate them both! They’ve been through a couple of fights but always ended up well in the end.

Crystal had a boyfriend since she was twelve. She would talk all about him. She would brag how much he loved her and bought her many expensive gifts. He would do almost anything for her. Crystal would asked Lucy for help for she wanted to meet him. Crystal would skip school to be her boyfriend. But little does Lucy and Crystal’s boyfriend know, Crystal had another boyfriend! She finally confessed to Lucy. Lucy promised to keep it secret from both Crystal’s boyfriend.

However, both of them found out, because Crystalcy that she had ballet on a public holiday. Lucy believed her. However, she told her parents that she was shopping with Lucy and Ashley! But truth she was with her boyfriend! Lucy was indeed angry because Crystal used her name to fool her parents!

Crystal’s parents found out that she wasn’t with Lucy or Ashley. They called Lucy for the truth. Lucy told EVERYTHING! However, Crystal told her parents that Lucy was lying! Her parents not only believed their daughter but told other people that Lucy was being PAID to spread rumours about Crystal!

That was the end of their so called Never Dying Friendship! The only person who could break their friendship was them, themselves. Lucy only told Crystal’s parents the truth because she couldn’t bear to know Crystal being a prostitude in future.

I hate Puan Paridah!! She is one of the worst!!! She SUCKS to the max!!

Today, when i’m at her science class. We had to watch some stupid, boring cd thingy. I was sitting with my friends, Jimmy, Hanif, Benjamin, Aaron, Kah Weng, Yu Han, and Joel. We were making a little noise then she scolded us. She made me sit with her! When Yu Han was making all the noise! GRRRRRR… Thanks a lot Yu Han.. Anyway, I then gave out the books and sat back at my original place with my friends. Then she scolded me, because I was sitting with guys. Her STUPID excuse was just because I’m the only girl with them!!! GRRRRRR.. She complain that I never sit with the girls. Then keeping asking me why I sit with guys when i keep telling her the answer that they are my friends and there isn’t anything wrong with that!! She say later I get touch by guys and some other crap as well. DAMN PISSED!!! Lamest teacher!! EVER!!

If you like this stupid teacher, sorry for calling her this ut she went over my nerve!! So sorry ya.

To be who you are is to be enough. To share who you are is to share enough. To do what you love is to do enough.

There is no race to win and nothing to be proven, only dreams to be nurtured, a self to be expressed, and love to be shared.

Never doubt your worth, and always know, without any doubt, that you are truly valued.

Hopefully this poem will open some of you. And learn from your mistakes. If there are friends out there that really cared for you. They just want your true self to shine. Not, a pretender, a lier or an actor. They want the real you. This poem is written by Donna Newman. Aneera passed me this wonderful meaning poem. To some of you, it may not mean a thing but to me, it means the world. For those liers, pretenders and actors out there, there is always a chance. Take it before it is too late. You will regrate being alone in the end.